27: First Chapter Analysis with Katherine Vinson

For episode 27 of Writing Pursuits , I'm featuring

Kat Vinson in the first chapter of her upcoming novel entitled

ember. We stepped through her chapter using my first chapter

rubric. If you are interested in appearing on the show with your

first chapter, then see the link in the show notes. If the link

is no longer available, please see my services page on writing

pursuits.com Welcome to the writing pursuits podcast where

authors like you discuss writing craft, author life and book

marketing strategies. I'm your host Kathrese. McKee. I own

writing pursuits and write and produce the weekly newsletter

writing pursuits tips for authors. In addition, I am a

speculative fiction author writing procedures for authors

who drink too much coffee, endure judgemental looks from

their furry writing companions and struggle for words. If you

are a writer seeking encouragement, information and

inspiration This podcast is for you. Let's get to it. Hey,

writing precedes authors. Welcome back to the podcast. For

those of you who are new, I want to extend a special welcome. My

name is Kathrese McKee, and I'm glad you're here. Please leave a

comment a star rating and follow the show to help others find

Writing Pursuits. In this episode, I only include the

discussion of the hook for Kat Vinson's novel. The full

discussion of the entire first chapter is on YouTube and I have

included that link in the show notes. I wanted to keep this

episode about 15 minutes so that you could just hear it on the

way to town enjoy the show. Katherine Vinson believes in

making lemonade from lemons happily ever afters and stories

with characters who struggled to do the right thing. She's

married to her first love, and they are raising a beautiful

teenage daughter in the Florida Panhandle. Her major was cross

cultural studies, which is her excuse for an obsession with

Asian TV dramas, and unique fantasy world building. So 16

year old Ember, the story's called Ember Right, right. A 16

year old Ember wants to spread her wings and fly, literally,

but it's forbidden since a human might see. So she runs away from

the Florida Keys to the Bermuda Triangle to the hidden island

her people abandoned 18 years ago. And then she breaks a wing

when 20 year old coal since is someone in a haystack hiding in

a haystack. He isn't expecting of in Darfur. Okay, did I say

that right? Then in Darfur? Okay, that's it.

We'll go with that. Okay, when 20 year old coal since it's

someone hiding in a haystack he isn't expecting of in Darfur

teenager. Then she gets herself injured and surrounded by an

enemy tribe. He only has one option if he wants to protect

her, bind herself as her keeper. Together, the two must uncover

the mystery of why embers people left succeed, and her people can

come home fail, and she may lose her wings forever. All right.

That's awesome. Pretty good. Pretty good book description.

It's almost there. I think so. Good deal. Okay, get you out.

Okay, so, okay, this is a little mind map of the first chapter

rubric, the thing you need to know is that there is a set of

global elements up here. From the story rubric. I'm a three

story method, certified editor. And so we use the story rubric

all the time, I've developed this first chapter rubric

because I feel like authors have a hard time with the first

chapter. It's so important. It's so hard to get right. And I

think that this will help people perfect the first chapter on

their own and with the help of you know, an editor if they

needed. So, in the global elements that were most

concerned about, there's a global conflict, global choice

and global consequences. You did a pretty good job of hinting at

those in your back cover description. So here's the

global conflict. You know, it could be any of these let me

move it down a little bit. Character versus self character

versus character, character versus society. Character versus

nature character versus technology. Character versus the

supernatural and character versus fate. I'm thinking yours

is probably character versus self a little bit, a little bit

of this. And probably a lot of this in my image, right, right.

Okay. Actually, yeah, I think that's gonna be where we're at.

She she's gonna have some some things about herself. Um, I can

tell with the render that you introduce in the second scene,

that there's gonna be To be some character versus character

conflict. That's, that's always a good story. And then the

overriding thing, though, is kind of the character versus

society. Right? Yeah. And so and then out of all that conflict

flows, choices and all the choices to deserve consequences.

That's what you're kind of promising is that there's going

to be consequences. So that's where the global elements come

from. And here in a minute, we're going to read the hook for

your story. But the thing I'm going to be looking at, are

these five elements promise, point of view, setting, tone,

and mood and genre under promise, it's your promising,

there's going to be answers to the questions you raise, there's

going to be conflict, and there's going to be satisfaction

in the end. So all that happens in that, like first three

paragraphs or so. And then there's the point of view, you

have to establish point of view, and it needs to be clear and

engaging. Setting is time in place, you're going to raise

some questions about the set and through the setting. And it

gives context, right? So if that's missing, you don't have

context. Or you don't know what, where you are, what time of day

it is, that only works if you've got a hostage situation. And

then And then, Tony is what I mean by that is you're creating

emotion, and you're promising that it's going to be enjoyable,

and then you with the genre, you're going to establish the

genre pretty much right away, and your readers are going to

think it's going to meet their expectations. So that all has to

happen in the hook. And that's why we're that's where we're

going with this. So let's without any more ado, since you

wrote it, I'm going to let you read it. Okay.

Clear skies, a strong breeze, and absolutely no

one around just right for flying. standing at the edge of

the trees. Ember gazed across declaring scattered with sedges

and Palmetto plants. She'd found the secluded spot six months

ago, a barren space deep in the hardwood hammock of the Florida

Keys, and it had quickly become her favorite hideout. Sliding

her backpack off her shoulder, the 16 year old peered into the

top of a nearby Gumbo Limbo tree. There, she spotted the

familiar broken stub high among the peeling red branches. Her

bag with red schoolbooks and leftover packed lunch would be

out of reach of most noisy, noisy creatures up there.

Running starting to elite and her weeped wings were betweens.

And for over the crisp snap, she hovered for a half second

looping the bag on the branch before sneakered feet landed

back on the forest floor. Now to practice,

that's a very clear hook. I kind of gave you that

last sentence, because I felt like it was the hook to the rest

of it, that you know, leads into the next action that's going to

happen. Let me show you the rubric. This is what the rubric

looks like, you know, the actual rubric, not the map. And I

actually have a table of contents to help people find the

section they're looking for. I copied your blurb up here or

your your back cover description. And then this is

kind of the way it works is every section or in this case,

it's a subsection has a table and they each have the same

heading and developed fair, good, excellent. Excellent is

usually just ridiculously hard to achieve. If you have straight

Good, you've got a very strong first chapter. And you really

don't have much to worry about. But this is like the hook is

likely to be quoted from now on, you know, like, like Pride and

Prejudice. Everybody knows the first sentence of Pride and

Prejudice. Right? So that's kind of a little bit unattainable.

They're gonna print it on bookmarks and T shirts. Okay,

you know, all right. All right, calm down. But anyway, this is a

promise of conflict answers to questions, satisfying story. And

so I say that your hook is original, interesting.

Immediately questions are raised in the readers mind. Some form

of conflict is clear. And there's a promise of a

satisfying story readers want to keep reading, they are hooked.

So what I what I really liked, let me put that right. Is that

just right for flying your very first sentence is excellent. So

clear skies, a strong bliss breeze and absolutely no one

around. So this hints at conflict right away. She's

keeping a secret. Right? And that means that somebody would

be upset if they found her. So well done. And then before the

end of the first page, I have the following questions in

broken Fly. Whoa, wait, you know, is she a fairy? What's

going on here? And why does she have to practice in secret?

That's my second question. And why did she practicing for? Who

would keep her from using her wings? And why? And then

finally, why is she trying to blend in with her clothes.

That's that part comes next where it describes her clothing

and the, the effort she's made to blend in. And so really good,

really good stuff. And that's the first. One of the five

things we talked about in the hook was the promise. So loads

of questions, a promise of conflict, I think it's going to

be a satisfying story. Then the next thing is point of view.

Well, obviously, we're really in her head. She does. She hasn't

said anything, but we're in her head. memorable character,

right? Characterization begins immediately. Or the narrator

terms the reader in the first three paragraphs, I felt a

connection to her, you know, the kid after school, who's doing

something that she thinks she needs to do, but everybody else

might feel like she doesn't need to do we are strictly in her

point of view. Also, really well done. Let me go over to your

manuscript here. We know that her name is ember. We know she's

16 year old years old. We know she is in school, because of her

schoolbooks, and leftover, packed lunch. I think that was

pretty much it. But we know exactly. We know a lot about

this character already. And also, we know that she has

wings. Maybe most important of all, we know she has wings. So

let's go back to our rubric here. The setting if you set the

setting very well, clearly scattered with hedges and palm,

Palmetto plants, hardwood hammock of the Florida Keys. So

we know kind of where we're at. Florida Keys are those little

island chain of islands at the end of Florida that a lot of

people haven't been to gumbo, Limbo tree, peeling red

branches, nosy creatures, and you can guess what time of day

it is. Because he mentioned the leftover lunch and the fact that

she's had you know, it's afternoon. So that's very clear.

And it's placed in time. So setting is is communicated well

within without you didn't do Oh, it was three o'clock after

school.

I had just walked down and I hid myself in the woods. And I did

this and this and this and this and you you did that without a

bunch of of information dumping. You just stuck it in there. Oh,

the little details were sprinkled in. So I felt like

that was very deftly handled. Okay, tone and mood. I again, I

said good. The hook sets a clear tone and mood, the word choices

and phrasing original engaging. readers feel confident they will

enjoy the experience because of the author's tone and the

emotions they feel at the beginning. Make them look

forward to getting on with the story. Immediately. I was I was

intrigued because this is her favorite hideout would be out of

reach of most nosy creatures. I want to know what kind of

creatures are in this woods that would be interested in stuff.

Absolutely no one around. And then I loved the Senate, her web

wings unfurled with a crisp snap. She has sneakered feet.

And now to practice that is a very great way of starting your

characterization. Not only does she want to do something in

secret, but she's evidently disciplined enough to want to

practice which is like, wow, that's kind of unusual for a 16

year old. I don't know about you, but I didn't want to

practice anything when I was 16. So the reader consent, embers

satisfaction and her anticipation, they can feel

confident they will enjoy the experience. Okay, final section

of the hook is genre. The hook establishes the genre of the

story and makes a promise that it will be consistent with genre

expectations. I'm going to say this is a contemporary fantasy.

Yeah. And so what we have here is just right for flying right

away. We get this little hook here that tells us something's

going on. And then she has webbed wings and she flies up,

hooks her bat back on the branch and then she plops back down to

the ground. So clearly she's not a normal human. So well done.

And that's the The end of this episode, I want to thank Kat for

letting me be a part of her project for letting me read her

first chapter and feature it here. I can hardly wait to read

Ember when it comes out. It's going to be great. Remember that

the full episode is on YouTube at the link in the show notes.

And that's all I have for today. Until next time, thank you for

joining us today. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a

comment and follow the podcast. If you're new around here. I

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pursuits. Tips for authors that link and all the links mentioned

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keep writing my friends. Keep writing