42: Seven More Ways to Improve Your Manuscript

Your story is finished, you've reached the

end, your beta readers are waiting. An agent has asked for

a full manuscript. Or maybe you are getting it ready for your

editor. What are some easy ways to immediately improve your

manuscript? Before you send it out? Let's find out in this

episode of writing pursuits, welcome to the writing pursuits

podcast where authors like you discuss writing craft, author,

life and book marketing strategies. I'm your host

Kathrese. McKee. I own writing pursuits and write and produce

the weekly newsletter writing pursuit tips for authors. In

addition, I am a speculative fiction author. Writing pursuits

is for authors who drink too much coffee, endure judgemental

looks from their furry writing companions and struggle for

words. If you are a writer seeking encouragement,

information and inspiration, this podcast is for you. Let's

get to it. Hey, writing pursuits, authors. Welcome back

to the podcast. To those of you who are new, I want to extend a

special welcome. My name is Kathrese McKee. I'm glad you're

here. Please leave a comment a star rating and follow the show

to help others find writing pursuits. This is part two of a

two part series. The first part was in Episode 41. And you can

find that at writing pursuits.com forward slash

podcast. Before you send your manuscript to beta readers, or

to an editor. Here are seven more ways to immediately see an

improvement in your manuscript. Number one, get some sleep

before you revise. If I had $1 for every time I discovered

errors in my own writing the next day, I would be able to

attend another conferences here. Something happens when we sleep

and getting some shut eye before you proofread your draft makes

errors stand out. I don't know if our brains work overtime at

night, or if things look different in the light of a new

day. But taking time away from a manuscript, even a few hours

lets you see your work in a fresh way. Do not hit publish,

or send your manuscript off immediately after you think the

revisions are done. Let time elapse or get some sleep, then

look it over before you send it into the world. Number two,

before you revise read for substance. When you are revising

any project longer than a short story, it is easy to get lost in

the little stuff and miss the big picture. First, make a

valiant attempt to put on your quote unquote reader hat and

read your story all the way through with fresh eyes Does the

beginning pull you in, or the stakes high enough? This tension

build is the ending satisfying. Make notes separately,

preferably on a notepad and your preferably reading on a PDF

where you can't make changes right away. You're a reader

after you finish then you can put on your editor hat and make

revisions number three, vary your sentence structure scan

your sentences looking for repeated beginnings. For

instance, she took off her hat and sat on the bench, she opened

her bag to pull out a mirror and lipstick. If you read your story

aloud as we discussed last week, this is one of the problems you

will notice each sentence began with she does the sentence

structure change not in this instance, what about sentence

length, make your sentences various length so some are

short, some are medium and some are long. Change it up. Number

four, shorten your paragraphs. Speaking of sentence length, you

also need to be aware of long half page paragraphs. Readers

crave whitespace so they can speed through your story without

rereading for clarity. If you need a long paragraph, be sure

to switch up paragraph link as you go along. Here are a few

ways to shorten paragraphs to achieve clarity and improve the

reader experience. Avoid excessive grandiose words break

up long descriptions by sprinkling in critical

information as the plot progresses. Instead of doing an

information dump. Breakup dialogue like your language arts

teacher tried to teach you, each speaker gets their own

paragraph. If someone interrupts they get a paragraph break.

Don't put two people's dialogue in one paragraph. That's a

frequent error I see. eliminate unnecessary words and phrases.

If something goes without saying get rid of it, it goes without

saying watch for that. search out the word that and see if it

is truly necessary. Many times you can cut the word that

many times you can eliminate in order to also say the words in

order to are generally not necessary. So Search for

adverbs, especially if they're paired with speech tags. I'm so

happy, she exclaimed joyfully. adverbs are not evil, but they

are easy to abuse many times you can choose a stronger verb. What

are the last three tips in this series? Let's find out after a

word from our sponsor. Writing pursuits is run by Kathrese.

take their writing to a new level of excellence. Ca threes

is a three story methods certified editor who specializes

in story diagnostics, coaching and line editing to help you

prepare your story for the journey ahead. For more

information go to writing pursuits.com. The link is in the

show notes. And now back to the podcast. So far we have talked

about resting before revising, reading for substance, varying

sentence structure and shortening paragraphs for

readability number five stick with said and asked speech tags

much like the previous tip, there are no villains among

speech tags. It is fine to use replied, exclaimed, shouted,

murmured and so forth, but said and asked are invisible to the

reader. Other speech tags can sound stiff and artificial,

especially if overused. I need to be clear, he explained. You

don't need to say anything she interposed Oh, but I must, he

argued. Let's rewrite that. I need to be clear. He said she

shook her head. You don't need to say anything. He grabbed her

arm. Oh, but I must. Yikes. Let's see how much information

the beats added. Minimize speech tags and make the beats do the

heavy lifting. Number six, elevate your dialogue? Have you

ever thought of the perfect response hours after an intense

conversation? At last you think of a funny turn of phrase that

what is defuse the situation? Now maybe that's just me. I

confess the right words do not come to me when the pressure is

on. So I stand there like a lump which is probably better for my

continuing relationships because sarcasm is my first language.

What's really going on while I stand there in silence is I am

biting my tongue grasping for a grown up mature response.

However, I think the quick witty comeback is one of the reasons I

write fiction written dialogue is an author's opportunity to

make the perfect retort sound natural. Your shy character gets

the slipping Zinger, hey, you can make it happen, but not if

your dialogue is too realistic. In real life. Our conversations

are cluttered with inane comments about the weather, or

the movies, our workouts and forgive me our kids soccer games

elevate your dialogue by making it better and more focused than

real life. Millions of people watch Gilmore Girls reruns for

the fast talk. We secretly wish our conversations could be half

as witty as theirs. Your work does not need to be as sharp and

snappy as a one liners and Gilmore Girls, but a sure way to

improve your manuscript is to cut the deadwood out of your

character's interactions. Number seven. The final tip is to avoid

overusing proper names. Robin Williams was a master of using

humor to evoke memories and poke fun at pretentious behavior. As

the genie and Aladdin he mimicked the funny way

broadcasters speak to co hosts during holiday parades

frequently addressing each other by

names. Don't they look lovely June fabulous, Harry. I love the

feathers. Imagine proper names use it used continuously

throughout an entire scene. Ah, Lady period we call her do you

do today? Poorly Miss Throckmorton I have the Gout you

see. Oh no. Please let the parrot Winkle. Sit. Take my

seat. Miss Throckmorton I could never discovered you in that

way. I will sit here next to Countess Warwick. She's always

so delightfully energetic. Good day to you. Your leadership are

such a pleasure to see you lady Periwinkle. Though you are

looking quite unwell this morning. I dare say you're in a

lot of pain. Do sit here and prop your foot on the ottoman.

My husband, the Earl you know find it boast useful. See how

silly that sounds? You know kind of read it in a British accent

sorry about that using proper names in dialogue sounds

unnatural and stilted. Worse. Sometimes authors use speech

tags in addition to making the characters address one another

by name. Don't they look lovely June said Harry Jun replied

fabulous Harry. I love the feathers. If the conversation is

between two characters, you need few if any tags The characters

rarely need to address each other by name. Although you may

sometimes need to state who is doing what, also use pronouns

when you can because proper names slow the readers down. For

instance, Matilda studied the two pins left at the end of the

polished lane, a 710 split. This was her last frame. If she

didn't pick up the spare. Ben would win two out of three. But

she had been a champion bowler in college for nothing. No way

you'll get the spare. Been slouched in his orange hard

plastic chair, arms crossed, she lifted her ball from the ball

returning cradle that $10 says I will. Money's easy. What say we

make this interesting? How weary She glanced his way what was

going on behind those devilish eyes? The corner of his mouth

lifted a kiss. If you don't pick up the spare. You owe me a kiss

when I drop you off. But if you do make it, I owe you a pizza

dinner. Pizza. From here No thanks. Think I'm cheap. Nah, I

know a great Italian place where they cook their pizzas in a wood

fired oven. Nothing but the best. Her eyes focused for one

moment on his lips. A kiss for Ben or woodfired pizza. She

nodded. Those were odds she could live with. In this scene.

The characters names appear once in the speech tags, but their

lines do not get confused. The more people who appear in the

scene, the more difficult it is to handle names. Let's add two

people to the scene. Remember, Matilda is a point of view

character. Matilda studied the two pins left at the end of the

polished lane. A 710 split. This was her last frame if she didn't

pick up the spare. Ben would win two out of three. But she hadn't

been a champion bowler in college for nothing. Ashley and

Tom their best friends trail far behind them on the scoreboard.

No way you'll get the spare Ben slouch in his horns hard plastic

chair arms crossed. Matilda lifted her ball from the ball

returning cradle that $10 says I will. Money's easy. What say we

make this interesting? How weary She glanced his way what was

going on behind those devilish eyes. The corner of his mouth

lifted a kiss. Ashley Crone. Really? You can do better than

that. Yeah, man. Sounds kind of desperate to me. Tom said. Ben

ignored the interruption. If you don't pick up the spare you owe

me a kiss when I drop you off. But if you do make it, I owe you

a pizza dinner. Pizza from here. Thanks. Their friends laughed.

Think I'm cheap. Nah, I know a great Italian place where they

cook their pizzas in a woodfired oven. Nothing but the best. Her

eyes focused for one moment on his lips immediately actually

covered her face.

Oh, please tell me you're not actually thinking about it. I

kissed her Ben are woodfired pizza. She nodded. Those are

odds she could live with. Sorry, do you have whiplash yet? I

mean, we went from Victorian England to contemporary American

romance, no flash, but the principle remains the same.

avoid overloading your scenes with proper names. In summary,

get some sleep before you revise. Before you revise read

for substance. Vary your sentence structures. Stick was

said and asked for speech tags. Elevate your dialogue above

everyday conversation. Make your paragraphs shorter. Avoid

overusing proper names. The question of the week is what is

your biggest challenge when you revise your manuscripts? Leave

your answer in the comments at writing proceeds.com forward

slash podcast forward slash 42. That's all I have for you today.

Until next time, keep writing. Thank you for joining us today.

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a comment and

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